Split personality
by Drummer13
Summary: Sweeney todd finds himself in an odd situation where one of of his coustomer's get's the best of him and he wakes up to be a different person. This might be a little out of character so go along with it. mostly humor a little romance.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: My friend DarkPixy666 and I wrote this story. The story is a semi-cross over between Sweeney Todd and Pirates of the Caribbean. Since this is our first Sweeney Todd fan fiction so some of the character's might be OC. There is some swearing but not much. Plz R&R, constructive criticism is welcome. **

* * *

It was another normal day on Fleet Street and Sweeney Todd was just about to "shave" one of his unlucky costumers. Todd closed his eyes feeling the blood coursing though his veins with the thought of seeing the precious rubies spill from his next victim. He was stopped short in his thoughts when he realized that his costumer was still waiting. Opening his eyes he reluctantly turned back to his costumer and mixed up the lather. Absent-mindedly he brushed the lather on to the gentlemen's face and sharpened one of his friends.

Sweeney glanced over his shoulder struggling to remember the costumer's name and said in a strong voice " Mr. Clarkston is it?"

Mr. Clarkston turned his head slightly and said " Yes, that's my name." Turning back with a slight frown he thought ' I just told him my name a moment ago, hmm.

Sweeney Todd polished his blade one last time before he made ready to 'shave' Mr. Clarkston.

Sweeney walk's slowly around to the front of the barber's chair with his back to the costumer. Sweeny grinned menacingly as he turned and brought his arm down swiftly to cut the man's throat only to open his mouth in silent astonishment as the gentlemen in front of him caught his arm.

Mr. Clarkston knew something was off about this man the moment he walked into the shop. Thinking to himself he wasn't surprised at the sudden change of character and then stop thinking as the barber started to struggle.

' How could this man even know what I was about to do' Sweeney thought as he twisted his arm in attempt to detach his arm from the steely grasp of Mr. Clarkston. He gave one final heave and flew back as Mr. Clarkston let go unexpectedly.

Mr. Clarkston ran towards the door as he saw his only chance of escaping this mad man but was cut off as Sweeney blocked his way. Seeing that he couldn't get passed him Mr. Clarkston came to the conclusion that the last choice was to get out by force. Swinging around quickly he grabbed the first thing closest to his hand, which happened to be a metal teapot and hurled it desperately in Sweeney's direction and smiled as he heard a satisfying _thunk _and made his way toward the door.

As Sweeney shook off the dizziness he lunged towards the smug "gentleman" and slit the filthy bastard's throat and listened to the assholes gurgling plea's.

Staggering away from the fresh corpse Sweeney grabbed his head and muttered " That bloody prick." Moaning he staggered as the ground tilted at an odd angle and winced at the unrelenting stinging and throbbing of his head. Swaying he muttered " What the . . ." and blacked out. Faintly Sweeney Todd heard the pit-pattering of urgent footsteps and lost all conscience.

* * *

**AN: So there you have it, the first chapter, sorry it's a little short. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon soooooooooooo. . . . . . . . Write a review and get a nice, juicy, virtual meat pie :D Hope you like it. LOL**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: the next chapter contains some weird things and some odd humor but hopefully you will like it.**

**10 min. before Sweeney passes out**.

"Toby, We need more ale." Mrs. Lovett shouted over the diminishing crowd of late night customer's. She bustled in between the tables stopping every few minutes to ask in an overly perky voice " woo' you like a piece o' pie?" As Mrs. Lovett slipped into the bake house to grab the last remaining pies her smile slipped away as she leaned against the wall and wiped her eyebrow's in exhaustion as she mumbled to herself " Uhh, me bones 'bout to drop."

" Mum, we nee' more pie's" Toby shouted in a strained voice. The last customer he dealt with tripped him so that he fell flat on his face. When he got up the old geezer spit on his face. Toby got up in a rush and clenched his fist and said in a small voice " Will you come wit' me sir?" The old guy gave his companion's a cocky grin and heaved his rather large frame from his seat and followed Toby around the corner so that no one could see him. When the old man turned the corner Toby let his fists fly knocking the guy unconscious. Realizing what he had done Toby dragged the guy to the bakers house entrance and waited for Mrs. Lovett's response.

Mrs. Lovett grabbed the pie noticing the strain in Toby's voice and hurried up. When she got to the top she dropped the tray at the sight before her and promptly grimaced as the metal tray struck her foot. As she hopped around trying to dull the sharp throbbing by rubbing the spot, she eyed Toby sharply and said " Wot is this dearie?"

Toby started rambling on " I'm sorry, I don' mean much arm'. E' was pikin' the fight. I,"

Mrs. Lovett put his worries to rest as she said " Don't worry nothin' darlin'. I'll take care of it." The old guy started to move so Mrs. Lovett shooed Toby out to get rid of all of the customers while she gently poked the old man repeatedly until he swatted at her hand and grumbled " What? Are you barking mad-woman? Where is that little whelp?" Mrs. Lovett backed away as the rather obese gentleman got up and said coyly " How's 'bout I give ye' a free tot' o' gin and we forget 'bout this 'ole thing."

As the fat man wobbled his way through the walk way he got stuck in the door. He puffed up like a blowfish at the sound of Mrs. Lovett laughing and said hotly " Why I never . . ." but before he could finish his sentence he farted softly and then gained volume until it sounded like a tornado was going through the building. When it became unbearably loud he stopped. Mrs. Lovett was holding in her humor and was about to say something until another fart ripped out of his pants literally. It shoved him through the door and ripped his pants at the same time and he practically ran to his carriage.

Mrs. Lovett was holding her gut, laughing hysterically and was about to fall to the floor but a loud _thunk_ interrupted her. She look up at the ceiling wondering what the barber would be doing up there. Mrs. Lovett left Toby to clean the shop and ran up the stairs to the shop think something wasn't right.

Mrs. Lovett burst thought the door and ran into the shop when her foot caught on something. She went hurdling down forward flailing her arms wildly until she hit the ground. Only then did she notice that she landed on something soft and realized it was Sweeney lying beneath her not moving at all.

"Mr. T are ye' all right?" Sweeney didn't respond at all.

Mrs. Lovett got up off of Sweeny and looked over to see what had caused her to fall and noticed that it must have been one of Sweeney's customers that was difficult to deal with. Moving over she dragged the body to the trap door and hit the pedal. Wiping her hands in satisfaction she turned her attention back to the unconscious Sweeney. As she walked over toward Sweeney her foot got caught on one of the broken floorboards and she went tumbling once again right on to Sweeney.

Looking at his face she asked " Mr. T . . . Mr. T?" Getting no response she slapped him lightly a couple of times. Sensing she might never get this chance again she lightly kissed him thinking he wouldn't wake.

Then out of nowhere his hands wrapped around her waist as he responded fervently to her little peck. Then he mumbled through the kiss " Well, this is the best way to wake up with a hangover." Deeply shocked Mrs. Lovett jumped off of him and backed away as Sweeney got up on his elbow's.

Mrs. Lovett said " Mr. T I'm sorry. I din' mean nothing. I. . ." she was cut off when Sweeney said in and offended voice " Who in the blazes is Mr. T?"

Mrs. Lovett looked confused as she said " Why, you are."

Sweeney looked at her with an odd expression and said " I'm capin' Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl."

Mrs. Lovett thought ' What 'appened to Mr. T? Es' acting a lil' strange.' Looking around she spotted a dented teapot and instantly came to the conclusion that Mr. Todd got hit over the head.

Sweeney grabbed the razor and looked at it with major intrest and then said enthusiastically " I got a shiny razor, I got a shiny razor, I got a shiny razor, and it's gleaming brightly." He kept repeating the phrase while sauntering toward the stairs.

Mrs. Lovett didn't know what to do so she followed him to the stairs watching him saunter around singing a weird a little tune. He kept walking towards the stairs getting closer.

Sweeney said " I got a shiny razor, I got a shiny ra. . . ." and tumbled down the stairs. When he landed down at the bottom Sweeney jumped up with his arms wide and held out the razor and said " I've got it!"

Peaking around the corner she said " are you al' right love?"

Sweeney looked up at the enticing wench and said " Yeah, just need a bottle of rum." And then walked off towards the market.

Panic shot through her as she ran after him saying " Mr. T. I think you 'it your 'ead a little too 'ard."

* * *

**AN: well there it is we hope you liked it and had a good laugh. next chap. should be up soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Panic shot through her as she ran after him saying " Mr. T. I think you 'it your 'ead a little too 'ard."

Sweeney swiveled around and put his hands on his lean hips as he struck an offended pose and said " If you going to talk to me, call me by my name. JACK SPARROW."

Mrs. Lovett caught up with him and huffed " Mr. T I think you should go and sit down. We nee' to get a doctor t' look at ye' first." , as Mrs. Lovett mirrored Sweeney's pose.

Shifting his weight on his hips to the other side he said " No, No, No. J-a-c-k S-p-a-r-r-o-w. get it."

' Might as well play 'is game anyway.' Mrs. Lovett thought as she shifted her weight too. Sighing she said " Mi' as well get you inside _capin' Jack Sparrow_."

Shifting his weight again Sweeney said, " I'm fine, I just need to get some rum."

Shifting to the other side of her hip Mrs. Lovett said in a tight voice " I don' care what you say. Your comin' wi' me NOW."

Sweeney looked Mrs. Lovett up and down as he shifted hips and said " Stop it."

Mrs. Lovett shifts hips again and says " What am I doin'?"

_Shift_

Sweeney points to her and says " You coping me."

_Shift_

Glaring back at him she said " No I'm not."

_Shift_

" Are too."

_Shift_

" Are not."

_Shift_

" Are too."

_Shift, shift, shift, shift. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . !_

They threw their comments back and forth shifting their hips and picking up speed until they looked like they had ants in their clothing.

After a while Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett looked to the walkway simultaneously to find a crowd of people clapping hands and whistling while others said " Bravo, what an odd, endearing dance."

One of the rather plump Ladies giggled behind a peach colored cloth and said in a high pitched voice " I would like to try this dance." And as the plump woman tried to roll her hips a gentleman walked by not noticing and went flying into a muddy puddle when he came into contact with the Ladies rather obtuse behind.

Not noticing the poor gentleman people started calling out and crowding around Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett asking who made up the dance.

Feeling oddly out of place Sweeney pointed to Mrs. Lovett and called out " she's the Captain." And pushed his way through the crowd and ran down the street and looked around for the neared drinking establishment.

After Mrs. Lovett detached herself from the excited crowd she spent the rest of the day looking for Mr. T. when she was about to give up hope Mrs. Lovett hears a drunken voice in the alley singing " I got a '_hic_' shiny r-razor."

Shaking her head Mrs. Lovett bolted down the alley and found a very drunk Sweeney with an empty bottle of rum.

Staggering up Sweeney tried to drink more but found nothing but an empty bottle. Hiccupping Sweeney slurred, " W-where is m- '_hic'_ my rum?"

Mrs. Lovett ignored him and slung an arm over her shoulder while helping him back to the pie shop.

* * *

**AN: Our next update will be soon so watch out for tomorrow. R&R and you will get a virtual razor!**


	4. Chapter 4

When Mrs. Lovett managed to drag Sweeney into the parlor he collapsed and promptly passed out.

When he woke up, Sweeney clutched his head groaning while thinking 'Why does my head hurt?'

Mrs. Lovett walked in to check on "Jack" and noticed that he was mumbling to himself so she strode up to him and said "I see yer up and 'bout, Jack!"

Glaring up at Mrs. Lovett through one silted eye Sweeney said, "Who is '_ugh_' is Jack?"

Cocking her head to the side Mrs. Lovett asked "Mr. T, is that you? Do you remember anything 'bout yesterday?"

Getting up slowly, Sweeney replied "I remember killing the guy who hit me over the head, why do you ask?"

"No Mr. T, do you not remember anything else?" Mrs. Lovett said as she inched towards the doorway.

"Noooo, is something wrong?" looking around he asked, "Where is my razor?"

A look of pure shock crossed Mrs. Lovett's face as she remembered Sweeney coming home with a bottle of rum as she gasped and said, "Mr. T you didn't!"

Sweeney jumped up and asked worriedly "Didn't what!?" He sprinted up the stairs and grabbed his box of razors to count.

When Sweeney found one missing a girly scream ripped out from his throat.

Mrs. Lovett came to the doorway and said breathlessly "Mr. T you sold it for a bottle of rum."

Swirling around Sweeney growled "What!" and then instantly thought of a little twit with an unhealthy appetite for being curious. Narrowing his eyes Todd said menacingly "**Toby!**" and then let out a string of profanities as he stormed past Mrs. Lovett and headed downstairs, where Toby slept.

Sweeney barged into Toby's room and went over to his bed to rip the covers from him and hurtle the little boy into a wall.

Toby looked up dazed as he saw Sweeney stride up to him and grab his neck, shoving him into the wall.

Scratching at Sweeney's hand Toby croaked "Wot did I…do?"

Squeezing Toby's neck tighter, Sweeney yelled, " You sold one of my razors for some bloody gin!"

Toby rolled his eyes and struggled for some air as he wheezed "I never...saw no bloody...razors." gathering his last bit of strength, Toby kicked Sweeney in the groin.

Sweeney doubled over in pain and loosened his grip letting Toby free.

Toby made ready to run but Sweeney tripped him and hung him upside down as he drew a razor and slowly cut Toby's throat, letting his life drain out.

Mrs. Lovett finally made it down but stopped at the front of Toby's room covering her mouth at the gory sight.

Sweeney pushed his way past her when Mrs. Lovett stopped him and said "Mr. T 'ow could ye do such a thing?"

Sweeney turned to stare at Mrs. Lovett with a dark expression as he said simply "Two reasons, one, that boy sold one of my razors, and two, he was getting to nosey." And walked away.

Mrs. Lovett felt a pang of sympathy for the boy but shrugged it off and dragged Toby's body down to the bake house murmuring to her self "No one said life was fair."

Sweeney climbed into his bed and said to no one in particular "My head feel's like it's going to explode." So he laid down and promptly fell asleep.

Mrs. Lovett still wanted to know what was wrong with Mr. T, so she went out to get the doctor.

When he came over the doctor asked some questions about Sweeney's behavior and then grumbled "All the right symptoms, but, Mrs. Lovett, would you allow me to have a look at him for myself?"

Nodding her head in agreement, Mrs. Lovett led the way up to Mr. T's shop thinking 'Mr. T 'as been actin' so odd lately but I don't know who I fancy more, exciting Jack or dark and mysterious Mr. T? hmm'

When they got there, Mrs. Lovett led the way in and went over to Mr. T's bed and woke him. Turning toward the doctor she said "Pardon Mr. T if he seems cranky, a lil hang over I'm 'fraid."

Sweeney woke up to find a doctor looking at him with an odd expression. When Sweeney was finished being poked and prodded he had a 'right and proper' scowl on his face.

The doctor nodded and then shook his head saying sadly "I'm afraid Mr. Todd has a milti-personality disorder."

Shaking his head as if awakening from a daze Sweeney said "your bloody daft." But when the doctor nodded solemnly, Sweeney stared into space thinking...

* * *

**AN: Wonder what he's thinking, lol. Anyway the characters in this are really out of character especially Mrs. Lovett but we think it adds some 'spice' to the story. We are also not sure if they knew about the multiple personality disorder or not back then but we are going to pretend they did. Look for updates and enjoy your meat pie!**


	5. Chapter 5

Shaking his head as if awakening from a daze Sweeney said "your bloody daft." But when the doctor nodded solemnly, Sweeney stared into space thinking...

'This can't be I'm not that insane, I mean I do kill people and have my landlady bake them into pies but this doctor must be lying' Sweeny was brought out of his thought when Mrs. Lovett asked "What can we do to treat it?"

"I'm afraid there is no cure for this you will just have to live with both personalities he has, or you could try hitting him over the head again to see if it goes away." Replied the doctor.

Sweeney grabbed the doctor by his collar, pulled out one of his razors and held it to his throat while hissing, "No one is hitting me because I don't have this stupid disorder now get out or I will kill you." When Sweeney released the doctor he fled out the door not looking back.

"Mr. T wot are ye doin' he mi…" Mrs. Lovett was cut off when Sweeney said softly "Get out."

"Mr. T I think ye need me 'elp" Mrs. Lovett said softly

"GET OUT!" Sweeney shouted

Knowing better than to make him angrier Mrs. Lovett left reluctantly hoping he would be ok by himself.

Once Mrs. Lovett finally left him alone he laid back down still feeling a little hung over. 'I must have been hit pretty hard if my head still hurts' he thought. Closing his eyes he slowly drifted to sleep.

--

Sweeny opened his eyes to complete darkness. Shaking off the wariness of sleep he noticed that he wasn't lying down but standing. 'Why am I standing up' he wondered. Looking around he tried to focus his eyes but there seemed to be no light at all. Waking up more he noticed that he seemed to be in some kind of metal rectangle that was just big enough for him to be in there. Trying to move around to find a way out of where ever he was he felt something soft at his feet, picking it up it felt like some cloth. The longer he stood there the more he realized there was a foul stench building in the space that he was in. Starting to gag from the stench he started to pound on the walls hoping someone was around to let him out somehow. He kept pounding yelling "HELLO IS ANYONE OUT THERE!" After pounding a few more times there was a blinding white light that blocked his vision. Someone grabbed his arm and pulled him into a room. Looking around him still slightly dazed from all the light he asked, "Where am I?"

"Your in Davy Jones locker room"

Sweeney turned around to face a sweaty man with beads hanging from some of his black dread locks. He had on a red bandana that looked like it had a year's supply of sweat worked into the rough fabric and a braided goatee that looked like it belonged to a horses butt. Last of all the one quality that had Sweeney's full attention was the constant swaying of the man's figure, like he was going to blow over at the slightest sign of wind.

Glaring at the bum was useless since the guy's full attention was on the stray bottle behind him so Sweeney contented with growling, with a full throat of mucus to make a satisfying gargling noise.

The man's attention focused on Sweeney as he asked, " What do you want?"

Sweeney returned his stare and repeated, " Who are you?"

Thinking it was a game Jack laughed and said, " Why I'm the captain Jack Sparrow of the black pearl."

Sweeney gave the guy an odd expression and said, " What the bloody hell is the black pearl?"

Rolling his eyes Jack replied, " The black pearl _mate, _is the fastest ship in the seven sea's."

Looking around the enclosed space Sweeney said, " Where in gods name are we?"

Shrugging nonchalantly Jack said, " I already told you mate, were in Davy Jones's locker _and _you were just in hid locker. I think your holding one of his stocking too."

Sweeney looked down and the piece of cloth that he was holding was indeed a used stocking.

Gagging and looking thoroughly repulsed Jack watched Sweeney throw the dirty stocking in his direction. Having no time to dodge the missal Jack got up close and personal with the used _stocking. _

Sweeney glanced over at the sound of a wet smacking sound turned enough so that he could see Jack peeling the sock off his face.

Looking at the dripping thing, Jack sniffed the stocking and then tasted it with the tip of his tongue.

Sweeney felt bile rise up his throat as he watched Jack lost in thought and then say, " It has a salty taste with a hint of rotten eggs."

Throwing the stocking dismissively Jack started to creep around picking up anything in his reach and sliding the smaller things in his shirt until he came upon a small bottle with a mini ship in it.

At first Jack walked passed it and then thought again and picked it up. He looked a little closer and the with widening eyes he said " Ay, that's my ship."

Sweeney came up behind him and then said, " That's a little small to be the fastest ship of the seven sea's."

Jack turned around to make a remark but his eyes fastened on a shiny object in Sweeney's holster. Jack's arms shot out and grabbed the object and opened it and started to sing, " I got a shiny razor."

He was about to repeat the phrase when Sweeney grabbed his razor back and backhanded Jack across the face.

Turning his head sharply Jack said, " I don't think I deserved that." Turning back he said in a whinny voice " I wasn't going to steal them but they looked familiar. Oh wait, I remember, I sold one for a bottle of rum."

Narrowing his eyes Sweeney suddenly grabbed his arm shouting in pain as he said, "I think I cut my arm, come take a look." When jack leaned in a little Sweeney said " Closer, a little closer." When Jack was about a nose length from the arm Sweeney shot his arm forward nailing Jack in the nose.

Jack grabbed his nose and said in a nasally voice, " I guess I deserved that."

Sweeney opened his razor and backed his arm away ready to slit Jacks throat when he held up both hands and said " Wait, If you kill me then you are killing part of you, which leads you to consequently hurt yourself in the process, which is a bad idea if you think of the things we could do together . . . . . if you get my meaning, mate."

Sweeney straightened and said, " I did not get half of that gibberish but my name is not _mate_. I have a name. It's Sweeney Todd."

" Alright Sweeney. Don't kill me and I'll make you a deal. See, what happened here was you got hit on the head and now I control your body half the time, so when I'm controlling you, I will lure new victims if you will supply me with rum, deal?"

" I don't need help but I guess it's a deal if it keeps you out of the way. Oh and one more thing, don't touch my stuff and NEVER touch my razor's." Sweeney said. With that said and done Sweeney turned his mind to other matters and asked, " So how do we get out of here?"

Jack said, " _You_ don't, _I _do. It is my day okay? You get to stay in here until the next day. Have fun." And Jack opened the locker room door and swaggered out slamming it behind him.

Sweeney went to the door and tried to open it but when it wouldn't comply he started to bang his fists on it roaring, " I'll get you, Jack Sparrow."

* * *

**AN: Well there it is. One is trapped in the locker while the other has control over Sweeney's body. Enjoy!**


	6. Chapter 6

The next day Mrs. Lovett came up stairs to give Sweeney his breakfast but when she walked in Sweeney was still sleeping which was odd considering that he didn't sleep much in the first place.

Mrs. Lovett set the tray down and then slowly tiptoed over to Mr. T so that she got a good shot.

When Mrs. Lovett zeroed in she took in a deep breath and said very loudly " Mr. T you have a customer."

Sweeney just rolled over and mumbled, " tell them I'm closed today, love."

Mrs. Lovett reeled back at the endearment that Sweeney never used and then said in a shaky voice " Uh, Mr. T are you all right."

Turning over again Sweeney eyed Mrs. Lovett appraisingly and then licked his lips and said " Mmm, a saucy wench. Why don't you come here, there's plenty of room."

Before Mrs. Lovett could register what Sweeney said he put his arms around her waist and dragged her onto the bed so that they were joined at the hip. Mrs. Lovett yelped and then said breathlessly " Mr. T wot are you doing?"

Grinning at her Sweeney said, " Sweeney won't be back til tomorrow, Love."

He leaned down to kiss Mrs. Lovett but when there lips met Mrs. Lovett responded with fervor while thinking ' might not be Sweeney but it's still 'is body.'

When they broke apart breathlessly a knock was heard at the door.

Groaning inwardly Mrs. Lovett screeched, " We're bloody closed today."

Sweeney gave her an odd look and then asked, " So, Where is the rum wench?"

With a loud huff Mrs. Lovett put herself out of his embrace and then standing before him Mrs. Lovett fairly hissed " this _wench_ has a name. It's Mrs. Lovett."

Smirking Sweeney said " and your first name?"

Blushing Mrs. Lovett answered with a flirtatious tone " Nellie."

Beaming with pleasure Sweeney said " Beautiful name. _Now_ can you show me where the rum is?"

The way Mr. T acted reminded her of Jack so out of the blue she asked, " When will Sweeney be back."

Looking everywhere except Nellie's face Sweeney answered, " Oh, you'll know."

Getting out of the bed with ease Sweeney started to look around in the cabinets for any alcohol.

" You won' find any rum and the gin is gone." Mrs. Lovett noted while she saw Sweeney bustling around.

"Fine then I will go out and buy some." Sweeney headed for the door but was stopped when Mrs. Lovett blocked his way.

"And how do you intend to buy this rum?" she asked

"Well I could sell one of Sweeney's razors again." He said while thinking 'even thought he told me not to' an evil grin spread across his face at the thought.

Mrs. Lovett gasped, " You're the one who sold Sweeney's razor."

"Yep" Sweeney replied not caring

SMACK

Sweeney grabbed his face after Mrs. Lovett slapped him across the face. "You better go out and buy that razor back." She said.

" Now love, I can't very well get the razor back when I have no money so that wouldn't do any good for the both of us now would it." Sweeney said.

Snorting in disbelief Mrs. Lovett pulled out Pirelli's purse and said " Here, Go buy Sweeney's razor back and then some rum if you have any money left over."

Taking the money Sweeney swaggered out the shop and down toward the market.

--

Opening the door to the bar, Sweeney took a seat by a greasy looking man and ordered a mug of rum. He was chugging it down when a bar tender came over to see if he wanted a refill. When the bar tended turned around Sweeney saw something shiny glint from one of the guys back pockets and reached out to grab it.

Smoothly sliding it out a big grin spread across Sweeney's face as he slowly turned around the razor. Finishing off his drink Sweeney strode out of the bar with no good intentions on his mind.

* * *

**AN: Yeah, sorry for the long wait. We weren't sure of what to do next but its all becoming clear. Hope you like it.**


	7. Chapter 7

The store clerk looked up surprised at the loud bang of the door as a strange man with a razor in his hand strode in.

Sweeney came in looking around the shop making sure that it was the tailor shop and then grinned and swaggered over to the clerk. Smiling, he drawled, " I'm here for a whole new outfit. How much are you wagering, mate?"

The clerk looked at the guy and mentally shrugged as he thought ' why not, if he has a heavy purse I shouldn't care how he acts' then the clerk went over to properly greet the gentleman. " How may I assist you sir?"

Sweeney looked the guy over and then said, " I want a whole new outfit, savvy? The hat and everything." Then taking the piece of parchment from the clerks hand Sweeney started to draw a pirate outfit with the baggy breeches and shirt with a large opening in the front with the knee high boots and bandana. Adding the final details Sweeney handed the parchment to the clerk with a smile and said, " I want this pieces in the finest fabric that you have, savvy. Oh, and add a velvet interior to my leather coat."

The clerk bugged his eyes at the amount of clothing and the odd style that he had never seen. Swallowing loudly the clerk asked, " When will you be needing these clothes sir?"

Sweeney looked at the clock hanging on the wall and mentally swore time for going so fast and then turned his attention back to the clerk and said " At the end of the day if that is possible."

The clerk sputtered knowing that the time he was given was ridiculously short and that he would at least need a couple of days so he gathered his wits and cleared his throat before saying " Beg yer' pardon but I will need at least a couple of days for the clothing that you have ordered. It may take a while for I have never seen the likes of these before?"

Sweeney clearly didn't like the idea of the guy taking so long so he said " I'll be back in four day's with the money." And walked out leaving the store's clerk staring after him dumbfounded while Sweeney began to whistle the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song.

He stopped at a couple of other stores before Sweeney got back to the bakery house.

Climbing up the stairs Sweeney opened the barber shop and plopped down on the bed face first and mumbled through the pillow " That Todd guy is going to kill me when he finds out what I'm going to change about his appearance. All of the wenches will be all over us." And he fell into a deep sleep.

--

Jack woke up to find himself back in the locker with Sweeney. Moaning, Jack complained, " I need more time."

Sweeney came up behind Jack and shoved him and put his hands on his hips while raging " Where the bloody hell were you? I was here the whole time worrying what you were doing to my body. Why did it take so long for you to come back? What did you do to Mrs. Lovett?" then Sweeney covered his mouth in shock and mumbled, " I didn't mean that." Jack turned around and raised an eyebrow saying " Your not my mother."

Sweeney backhanded Jack and snarled, " This is my body we're talking about. This is no laughing matter."

Jack held his cheek and looked back in mock innocence and said, " I don't think that a mother has whiskers growing out of his ears." And quickly ducked another blow to the head. " Actually, I don't think that they have enough hair in their nose to braid." Just as Jack turned to run Sweeney grabbed Jacks breeches and pulled up to create a mega wedgie. Making a high pitched squeal jack smacked at his hands and said " 'ey, let me go."

Sweeney shrugged and dropped Jack on his butt as he said, " If you insist."

Jack got up and gingerly rubbed his behind as he said in a strained voice " Well, if your done torturing me you can leave now."

Sweeny turned around and hustled towards the entrance but stopped short as he heard jack say in a sly voice " Oh, and Nellie is _fine._"

Swiveling around Sweeney growled " What," but was cut off short as an invisible force pulled him to the entrance.

As Jack waved and cooed " Have a good time." Sweeny was waving his fist trying to tear Jack's throat out but the invisible hands kept pulling until he went into the bright light.

* * *

**AN: Sorry it is short again but the next chapter will be more romantic. XOXOXO **


	8. Chapter 8

Mrs. Lovett trudged up the stairs to give Sweeney his breakfast that usually went untouched. She had almost no sleep thinking about asking Jack or Sweeney if they wanted to go out for a stroll and finally came to the conclusion that she was going to try it. Mrs. Lovett smiled at the thought of them walking arm in arm but she was roughly pulled out of her daydream as she heard a disturbance.

She instantly came to a halt as she heard Sweeney shout, " What did you do to Nellie you bastard?" She burst into action, bolting to the door and shoving it open so violently that the bell flew off the door as she looked around frantically " Mr. T wot's goin' on?"

Looking over to his cot Mrs. Lovett saw Sweeney thrashing around with closed eyes like he was trying to strangle an unknown presence as he roared " I'll get you Jack Sparrow." And then he eyes flew open as Sweeney flipped over and landed on the floor with a huff.

His eyes wondered around the room and landed on a black scuffed pair of boots. Slowly his gaze traveled higher until they stopped on a beet red face of Mrs. Lovett trying to hold back which was undoubtedly a burst of laughter.

Mrs. Lovett was shaking from the intensity of hilarity until Sweeney swept his hand under her skirt and around her ankle only to pull forward so that she went flying backwards.

She went flying down with a shriek only to land right on Sweeney's lap. Mrs. Lovett heard a low pained groan and a sharp intake of breath and wondered what in the world Sweeney was doing. Then a light came on and she knew where she landed and started to giggle.

She rolled off of Sweeney's lap and turned around when Mrs. Lovett got control of her face but broke out into fits of laughter after seeing the twisted pain on Sweeney's face.

Finally She calmed down and said " Well, it was your fault fo' trippin' me."

He closed his eyes and bent over to take a couple of deep breathes and then pulled himself up with tense features and walked over to where Mrs. Lovett sat, still shaking from the incident and held out a hand to help her up.

Cautiously Mrs. Lovett laid her hand in his, not knowing how he was going to react but that thought was banished because in a swift jerk Sweeney hauled her up forgetting how light Mrs. Lovett was and she went flying up and forward, barreling right into his chest.

Sweeney instinctively wrapped his arm around Mrs. Lovett as he took a few unsteady steps backwards and when he finally regained his balance, he realized that he was painfully aware of how close their bodies were to one another.

They both caught their breaths and then Sweeney finally got the courage to look down into the unfathomable dark brown eyes of Mrs. Lovett and tried to swallow but that did no good since his throat was as dry as sand.

' Is this room getting abnormally warm or is it just me' Mrs. Lovett thought as she held her breath in anticipation for what was to come next. When Mr. T said nothing she looked up to find that he was staring at her with an odd expression. It was like electricity was in the air all around them.

Finally Sweeney managed to croak out " I um . . . I didn't mean to . . . uh, be that rough." ' Let go of her. What is going through your bloody mind.' Sweeny thought to himself. ' your betraying Lucy.' But a voice in the back of his head said ' why not, she left you and Mrs. Lovett is more than generous. Have a little fun.'

The room was buzzing from the tension between the people embracing in an odd tangle.

Mrs. Lovett was becoming uncomfortably aware of the smell surrounding Sweeney. He smelled of lather, soap, and a pinch of cinnamon. The scent suited him for some reason and then Mrs. Lovett came to realization that she was sniffing his shirt.

Jerking back with a surprised expression, she looked up to see that Sweeney's usually tense; calculation expression was now supporting the look of a confused man.

Mumbling an excuse Mrs. Lovett pulled herself away from Sweeney's grasp and hurried out of the room leaving Sweeney by the bed with an odd look.

' What the bloody hell is wrong with me.' Sweeney thought as he sat down on his cot. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Sweeney ran his fingers through his hair thinking about what just happened between them. Sighing in resignation, Sweeney decided to act like nothing ever happened, fully knowing that he would never forget that moment when Mrs. Lovett was close in his arms.

' I shouldn't have feelings for her.' Sweeney thought as he made his way down stairs. Taking a deep breath he said to him self, " act like nothing happened. Just a regular day."

As Mrs. Lovett paced around the shop she thought about what happened between them. ' This just isn't normal.' She thought to herself. 'What happened up there was so, so, exhilarating. I've always dreamed of that happening but I was being an idiot and left like a bloody coward.' She went to the counter, cleaning vigorously trying to get her mind off what had happened when the shop bell wrung and in walked Sweeney.

Sweeney walked over and grabbed a glass and some gin while trying to keep his eyes off of Mrs. Lovett. The minute he walked in, it was like he could sense her presence like an animal could sense its prey. Sitting at one of the tables he poured some gin and stared mindlessly out the window.

Mrs. Lovett kept cleaning, trying to think of something to say that would make this awkward feeling go away and attempt to make this a normal day.

" It's very sunny out today init' Mr. T?" she asked

Sweeney grunted in agreement actually noticing that there were a lot of people outside walking around, most of them being families or couples holding hands or walking arm in arm. 'We could have been like that' he thought as he remembered his wife and child.

"Mr. T? do you 'ear me?" Mrs. Lovett asked walking over to him

"What?"

"I said would you want to go out and get some fresh air? It would be good for you besides its Sunday there is nothing else to do anyway."

" Hmm."

Sighing in frustration Mrs. Lovett put her hands on her hips and huffed out in indignation.

Sweeney turned around in his chair to see why she made that noise when he noticed how she was standing. With the corset and everything, a man could see every curve in her body and since he was a man that was deprived of a woman for fifteen years, he was sorely lacking in feminine attention. Shaking his head mentally Sweeney nodded and answered, " Alright, I'll go." And felt an odd feeling of pleasure when Mrs. Lovett immediately smiled in triumph and glided away unconsciously twitching her behind.

' Something is definitely happening.' Sweeny thought to him self as he tore his gaze off Mrs. Lovett.

Three hours later Mrs. Lovett came out in her day clothing and a mini umbrella. Turning to Sweeney she said, " Are you ready, love?"

Turning around Sweeney said, " Lets go." And strode out leaving an utterly bewildered Mrs. Lovett.

When she caught up to him Mrs. Lovett was breathing in little gasps as she said " We're not racing Mr. T."

Glancing in Mrs. Lovett's direction Sweeney said " Where to first?"

Glaring at Sweeney Mrs. Lovett said scathingly for a while and then said " Well, you will 'ave to follow me t' find out." and flounced in ahead of him, not seeing the oncoming carriage.

Panicking, Sweeney pulled Mrs. Lovett out of the way right before the carriage barreled over the spot where Mrs. Lovett was just standing.

Hugging her close to him, Sweeney breathed in a sigh of relief and then pulled her away so that he could see her face that clearly said ' OMG, what happened.'

" What the bloody hell did you think you were doing? You nearly gave me a heart attack" and then stopped in mid sentence rethinking what he just said.

While Sweeney was lost in thought Mrs. Lovett was cuddling against him thinking ' he really cared for my safety.' When he let her go Mrs. Lovett tried changing the subject by saying, " Why don' we go to the park an' get some toffees."

Sweeney looked at her and said in disbelief, " You almost died before me and all you can think about is getting candy?!"

Mrs. Lovett looked at him with large brown eyes and said in a small voice " I just didn't wan' to dwell on the past. Forgive and forget?"

Sighing in defeat Sweeney said, " I'll go get the candy if you stay right here." Backing the sentence up with a direct stare.

Sitting down and fluffing her skirts around her, Mrs. Lovett looked up at him expectantly and then smiled and waved as Sweeney left to get the toffee.

As it started to get darker Mrs. Lovett sighed and tried to shift her sitting position because she could no longer feel her leg. Then she heard a rustle and swiveled around to look into hazel eyes that held a hint of a threat. They seemed to sparkle with mischief as he grabbed Mrs. Lovett's arm.

Mrs. Lovett looked down at his hand and said " Le' me go now." When he didn't comply she closed her umbrella and started to beat him over the head and shriek " Le' go NOW. HELP, HE," but she was cut off as a Large hand covered her mouth and lift Mrs. Lovett off of the bench. ' oh, no you don't.' she thought as Mrs. Lovett's teeth sank into the fleshy palm of the man.

Roaring in outrage he pulled back a hand to slap her but someone grabbed him around the neck and twisted.

Mrs. Lovett heard a crack and the next moment the guy fell in a heap right on top of her. She started to scream " Ge' off. Ew, he smells like piss."

A moment passed before the big man was being hauled off and Mrs. Lovett could breathe again.

Sweeney scooped Mrs. Lovett in his arms and crashed his lips down on Mrs. Lovett before she had a chance to say anything. He smiled faintly as Mrs. Lovett went limp in his arms.

' Oh, his lips are nice.' Mrs. Lovett thought drowsily as Sweeney carried her home. She was holding onto Sweeney's neck and strangely, he didn't insist that she keep a distance.

Sweeney opened the front door awkwardly and shuffled inside closing the door with his foot and carried her to the parlor.

Once a fire was lit Sweeney sat next to her and asked, " Are you alright?" Mrs. Lovett shivered and said nothing but that was a mouth full enough for him. Without a comment he scooped up Mrs. Lovett and sat her on his lap a lot more gently than this morning.

They fell asleep embracing each other.

* * *

**AN: Wow, long chapter. If we say so ourselves, this is the best chapter so far but there is more to come. Yeah, Mrs. Lovett is a little accident prone in this but the results are so much better. Have fun.**


	9. Chapter 9

Sweeney drifted in a limp state towards the light and faintly noticed that the air around him had a musty and sweaty smell permeating the air. Groaning Sweeney realized that he was back in Davy Jones Locker. Getting up stiffly he looked around to see Jack eyeing him with lazy eyes as he casually leaned against a locker that had a stray sock hanging out.

" Have a nice day, mate?" Jack drawled, pushing himself in a standing position. As Jack absentmindedly flicked away a strand of dust that wasn't really there he said " So, what did you do with the wench? Anything fun?" raising an eyebrow because he knew that he was hitting a nerve with Sweeny.

Sweeney grunted stretching stiff muscles and answered in a rather piqued tone "I cut some throats. What else do I do?" shrugging the question away.

Jack knew that he was lying because Sweeney put his head down trying to hide a smile so he said " Well, I'll be going then." Jack started to head for the door but Sweeney grabbed his arm and said " Wait, don't you want to tell me what you did?"

Secretly smiling Jack pulled his arm away and slowly stepping towards the light he said " I would really, but I have to see about, Nellie." And ran the rest of the way into the light before Sweeney could stop him.

Sweeny mumbled to himself " I hope Nellie wakes up before that jack ass gets there first."

--

Mrs. Lovett woke up drowsily noting that she was very warm and comfortable considering that her cot was as hard as a rock. Then she opened her eyes wide in sudden realization that she was on Sweeney's lap.

She hurried to get off not noticing that Sweeney was already moving and by the time she slid off him Sweeney's arms pulled her back to him making her shriek in surprise.

" Oh, Mr. T!" Mrs. Lovett breathed.

" It's Jack, Love."

" Oh uh, well. . ."

" Did you have a good time yesterday with Sweeney?"

" I need to change so can you," and Mrs. Lovett looked down pointedly at Sweeney's arms.

He let her go and while she walked to the door Sweeney leaned back lazily and eyed Mrs. Lovett appraisingly.

Right before Mrs. Lovett went out she gave Sweeney one last look and left wide eyed after watching Sweeney make a curving gesture around her body and say " saucy wench."

' What are we to do today?' Sweeny thought to himself as he got up and headed to the barbershop.

Mrs. Lovett was reveling in the thought of what happened yesterday when the bell rang and in walked a rather tall young bloke with hair that looked like it was licked by a cow.

He came over and bowed so low that Mrs. Lovett feared that he would fall over and when he stood up the young man took her hand and kissed every finger and then said " I heard that this fine establishment has the best pies all around. Forgive me, I am Commodore Norrington and I came a long way to try these so called best pies in London."

" Alright Mr. Norrington sit down and I'll be back wit your pie in a tick." Mrs. Lovett went down to the bake house to fetch a fresh batch of pies.

" Here we are 'ot out of the oven" She said as she handed the Commodore the pie and some ale.

As the Commodore started to eat the pie with a satisfying look on his face Mrs. Lovett asked "So what brings you 'round 'ere beside the pie's I'm sure you didn't travel a long distance just 'or them"

" Actually I'm on a search for a certain pirate and I just got back after I lost track of him and decided to drop by for pie." He replied

" Oh and who is this pirate you're looking 'or?" Mrs. Lovett asked her curiosity taking over.

" His name is Jack Sparrow and I have been looking for him for a couple of months now." Mrs. Lovett had to stifle a gasp as she heard the name.

" Well, thank you for the pie madam, I will be on my way now." Commodore Norrington bowed and left the pie shop.

Mrs. Lovett wanted to go up and talk to Jack about this Norrington person but she couldn't as more costumers flowed into her shop, she knew she wouldn't be able to talk to him until after the dinner rush.

Sweeney paced around the shop wondering what he was going to do until he looked down at the depressing clothes and remembered that he had some clothes but remembered that it was not for another two days. After a moment Sweeney looked over the balcony noticing that the tables were full and the saucy wench was struggling with some trays so he decided that there was nothing better to do but help her. Sauntering down the stairs all of the customers looked in his direction a moment before going back to stuffing their mouths and talking about nonsense. Plucking the tray right from Mrs. Lovett's hands he said " Need a little help?"

Hopping up and down Mrs. Lovett tried to get the tray back but Sweeney help it higher every time so she huffed " Give it back now."

Sweeney leisurely looked Mrs. Lovett up and down until with a snort she twisted around so violently that her skirts flew up past her ankles showing a fair amount of skin to Sweeney.

' Mr. T is going to be soooooo jealous when he finds out what I saw of Nellie' Sweeney thought as he handed the tray back.

Mrs. Lovett snatched the tray from Sweeney and proceeded to hand out the pies until she caught Sweeney eating what was left over on a tray. With a gasp she ran over and smacked Sweeney's hand so that he would drop the piece that he was going to put in his mouth.

" Oi, what was that for?" Sweeney said in an highly offended squeaky voice.

" Don' eat that. It has human meat in it." Mrs. Lovett hissed in between clenched teeth.

" Eww!" Sweeney shrieked in a girly voice and ran up the stairs holding his shirt like it was skirt.

After the dinner rush Mrs. Lovett went up the stairs wondering how she was going to tell Jack about commodore Norrington.

Sweeney Was dancing around when in came Nellie.

She looked at him with an odd expression and then got right to the point and said " What business d' you 'ave wit commodore Norrington?"

Sweeney waved a hand saying " That old bloke has been on my trail for a while. Bloody annoying he is."

Mrs. Lovett took that as an excuse and said no more of it and went off to bed.

Sweeney sat in the chair thinking and staring off into space when he thought about seeing Nellie's ankles.

' What I wouldn't give to touch those.' He thought.

' I'm going.' Sweeny decided and practically bolted through the closed door down into Nellie's room.

When he opened the door to Nellie's room Sweeney found her sleeping on the far side of the bed with the covers kicked off so that the only thing covering her was a thin nightgown.

Licking his lips in anticipation Sweeney tiptoed to the bed and slipped in. When he was comfortable he started to slide a hand towards her ankle but he only got one caress because a bright light blocked his vision.

" Wait, give me another hour."

The light was blinding Jack and he was losing consciousness and the next moment Sweeny's body went limp next to Mrs. Lovett as Jack went towards the locker room fighting the whole way Screaming " No, give me some more time please."

" NO, YOU CAN'T BLOODY DO THIS." he shouted as Jack enter the locker the room.

* * *

**AN: Jack is kind of pissed as you can tell but it will get so much better.**


	10. Chapter 10

Sweeney looked up just as Jack came through the blinding light screaming " NO! You can't bloody do this."

' Wonder what he was up to?' Sweeney thought as Jack slammed his fist into the nearest locker.

Hooking an arm through Jacks, Sweeney leaned in until his ear was near and whispered, " What did you do with Nellie?"

Jack flinched at every word because a spray of spit would fly out of Sweeney's mouth and land right in his ear. Wiping his ear slowly for emphasis, Jack turned to glare so profoundly that his eyes looked like they were rolling back in his head as he said, " I didn't do anything, I just sat in your shop and drank some rum."

Sweeney cocked an eyebrow knowing that he was hiding something and had all the time in the world to get it out of him so for once in a long time he smiled at Jack and said " Do you actually think I'm going to leave you alone without knowing what you really did?"

Jack pouted, pulling his lower lip out and crossed his arms akimbo and murmured, " What makes you think that I am hiding anything?"

'_Tsk tsk' _Sweeny sounded, wagging his fingers back and forth like disciplining a child. " Why must you lie to your good friend, Sweeney? Now, tell me what you did, hmm?"

When Jack got his anger under control, he grounded his teeth until he thought they were going to break and then taking a deep breath he calmly replied, " I'll tell you what happened when I feel like it." Giving him a warning glance less he pressed further.

With a disgusted look Sweeney swiped away some stray clothing with stains that stank to the high heavens, he sat down in a relaxed manner and looked at Jack expectantly.

' This guy just won't back off.' Jack mused as he eyed Sweeney lounging the best he could in this environment ' Guy's got guts.'

Sighing in defeat Jack sat down by Sweeney, faintly noticing the dirty pair of underwear he was sitting on and started out " You know how Nellie flirts with us. . . ?"

While Jack was telling the story Sweeney's brows gathered more and more until there were tell' tail creases and a permanent scowl on his face. ' That blackguard.' Sweeney thought viciously.

When Jack was finished he scooted away noting the forbidding look in Sweeney's eyes but was abruptly stopped when Sweeney's fingers grabbed around his throat and constricted, slowly killing him.

When there seemed to be no air left in Jack's lungs, Sweeney's hands seemed to dissipate into thin air.

Jack heard a faint echo of Sweeney's voice saying, " I'm going to kill you." As Sweeney drifted off through the door.

* * *

**AN: SORRY!! We know it is really short but the we hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow sometime.**


	11. Chapter 11

Mrs. Lovett woke up from a peaceful dream when she felt a movement behind her. At first she thought it was only the wind going through but the windows were shut so she opened her eyes wide and turned around so violently that the cover twisted around her, pulling the object closer until they were like two chicken pieces in a tortilla roll.

Frantically she untangled her self and pushed at the thing with such force that she flung across the bed and landed on the floor, undoubtedly bruising her behind.

She got up panicking and looked around the room for something to hit the intruder with.

Finally her eyes landed on a red-hot poker that happened to have her initials on it.

_She was out shopping for supplies when she found a darling poker stick with her initials on it and begged Albert to get for her to add flavor to their home._

Mrs. Lovett picked up the hot poker and went over to the lump under her sheet and taking a deep breath shoved the stick at the closest thing.

A moment passed by when a horrible stench hit Mrs. Lovett's nose and the figure jumped out of bed with a howl of pain.

Nellie gawked at Sweeney who was running around in circles spewing profanities while smacking at his flaming butt.

Then reality hit and Mrs. Lovett's face contorted into pure rage as she shrieked, " Wot' the bloody 'ell are you doin' in my room Jack?" not waiting for an answer Mrs. Lovett clutched the poker in her hand and advanced toward Sweeny with evil intent sparkling in her eyes.

Once Sweeney was cornered he raised his arms to his face in self-defense and pleaded, " Wait, I'm Sweeney. What's going on here?"

Mrs. Lovett lowered her arm and dropped the poker which accidentally made contact with Sweeney's foot causing him to roar and grab his foot.

Mrs. Lovett looked at him for a moment and then tried to apologize by saying, " Sorry. I don' know wot's going on either. Last I knew, you were in bed wit' me."

Sweeney narrowed his eyes and growled, " So that's what he did." Turning to Mrs. Lovett he explained what Jack did and when he finished Mrs. Lovett fairly yelled out, " That bloody Pervert."

' Well, she's in a fine place to talk.' Sweeney thought. Lowering his arms he said scathingly, " You're the one who was leading him on and flirting with him." Mrs. Lovett put her hand on her hips with a look of indignation and pouted her lower lip. As she tried to argue, " He was the on who was actin' like a bloody child asking 'or it…." Mrs. Lovett realized her slip and covered her mouth with both hand and opened her eyes wide feigning innocents.

Sweeney looked at her with an eyebrow raised catching the slip and furrowed his eyebrows together in growing concern, now doubting that Mrs. Lovett had any sense of propriety.

Sweeney had a sudden urge to kill and it was all because of that damned Jack sparrow.

There was a sound low in Sweeney's throat and the volume got louder until it felt like he was going to peel the plaster off of Mrs. Lovett's walls.

She quickly scurried behind a chair as Sweeney charged by her without a glance and went straight for the vase with flowers in it.

Mrs. Lovett watched fearfully thinking that he was going to hurl it at her and then sighed in relief only for a moment before her body tensed as she saw Sweeney grip the vase tightly and then with a muttered curse, hurled the thing at his head and promptly crumbled to the floor.

Jack opened his eyes thinking of how he got here when Sweeny just left. Looking around he surveyed the scene and then looked up to see Nellie looking down at him while shaking her head saying, " yo' a bloody bloke fo' hittin your 'ead, are you all right?"

Jack tries to get up but all that moves is Sweeney's right arm. "What's going on?" He asked

" Well ye 'it yourself over the head for some reason." Mrs. Lovett replied

" I did it to try and get rid of him." Sweeney said and then stopped feeling Jacks presence.

Jacks voice sounded from Sweeney's mouth just as he opened it to say something " Where is the rum?" and then closed it and covered his mouth.

Slowly Sweeney detached his arm from his mouth and said, " What are you doing here?"

Jack moved the arm he had control of and slapped Sweeney over the head and then replied smugly, " Guess we're sharing, mate."

Sweeney rubbed the now throbbing spot where Jack hit him and growled, " Leave Now." And grabbed his other arm slamming it against the table. Jack voice sounded " Ow, that hurt." And Sweeney's voice bellowed, " GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD."

Mrs. Lovett was watching with her arms akimbo but when they got closer She tried to side step but one of Sweeney's hands grabbed her backside and squeezed causing her to suck in her breath and say, " Mr. T you didn't?!" and let her hand fly and smile when she felt a solid contact across Sweeney's face.

Sweeney grabbed his face and complained, " Hey, I didn't do that." And then all of a sudden Sweeney took out his razor and started to slice at the hand Jack had control of.

Back and forth Sweeney and Jack argued,

" stop, ow t hat hurts."

" Die Jack Sparrow."

" Back off Mate. Nellie wants me only."

" Take it back before I slice a finger off."

Jack started to taunt Sweeney, " Jack and Nellie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," but abruptly stopped when someone in the background screamed, " STOP IT NOW; DO YOU WAN' TO KILL YOURSELF? Look a' the mess ye made." Mrs. Lovett said as she pointed to the blood red floor.

Sweeney dropped the razor and looked down at his feet looking like a boy caught with his hands in a cookie jar while the bloody arm flopped around like dying fish.

Jack voice said, " Ha, she yelled at you; she loves me better." And the bloody arm came up and started to strangle Sweeney.

Mrs. Lovett was highly shocked at what she was seeing and stood motionless at loss for what to do to help and remembered the doctors suggestion for how to fix it. ' Well ,you could hit him over the head again and hope it reverses.' So Mrs. Lovett looked around and saw a metal basin and slinked over to pick it up.

Once she had the basin firmly in hand Mrs. Lovett swung with all of her strength, smacking Sweeney over the head with a sickening thunk and watched him crumble to the floor in a very undignified position.

Mrs. Lovett knelt beside Sweeney to see if he had lost much blood from slicing his arm and then went over to the adjoining room to get cloth and water to cleanse the wounds. Once Sweeny's arm was bandaged she went into another room so that she could change.

Looking in her room Mrs. Lovett shook her head at the mess that Sweeney made and slouched off towards the front of the shop to clean.

Sweeney slowly opened his eyes fearing that his head was going to explode. When he managed an upright position the room spun around and dipped up and down.

Looking around cautiously so as not to lose balance Sweeney surveyed the mayhem that Jack caused.

'Hallelujah' Sweeney thought. ' I finally have peace and quiet.'

" Nellie!" Sweeney bellowed, standing up. He instantly regretted it as the floorboards started to sway under his feet like rippling water. Sweeney fell down in the nearest chair he could find and then winced as he pulled out his discarded razor from under his tush.

Mrs. Lovett ran in and almost slipped in the puddle of water and finally steadied herself as she looked frantically around the room for Sweeney and let out a sigh of relief as she spotted him sitting in a chair rubbing his temples.

Mrs. Lovett hid a telltale smirk as she asked an a caring voice, " Are ye all right Mr. T?"

Sweeney glanced up through silted eyes and grumbled, " Does it look like I'm all right."

Then sitting straighter he asked, " So I suppose you were the one who gave me this god forsaken headache?"

Mrs. Lovett tried looked at the unorthodox figure holding his head and chortled in good humor, " Well, you did try to kill yourself and I wasn't going to let you do that to yourself, Love."

Sweeney settled in the chair that he was sitting in while rubbing his temples and muttered to himself, " I deserve to die."

Mrs. Lovett unconsciously leaned closer and asked, " Wha' did you say?"

Sweeney saw how close Mrs. Lovett was getting to him and decided ' why not, I need a little revenge because she nearly knocked my brains out.' So he leaned closer to Mrs. Lovett's face.

She cocked her head to the side trying to here what Sweeney just said when suddenly she was grabbed about the neck and hauled over Sweeney's shoulder being carried out of the room.

Mrs. Lovett's screams vibrated through the shop as Sweeney lumbered through the hall and pushed open a hidden door that he installed before he got arrested and used Mrs. Lovett's body to push away the cobwebs as he descended the hidden stairway down into the darkness.

When they reached the basement Sweeney lit some candles and strapped Mrs. Lovett in a seat that one of his past friends had made for him before Sweeney was married.

He was looking in the mirror straitening his coat and pants when he turned around and saw the brand mark on his left butt cheek that burned through his pants. When he saw NL branded on his butt he choked back a roar as he gingerly touched the burnt skin.

The growl started low in his chest and rose in volume until Sweeney's face was beet red and he was bellowing right in Mrs. Lovett's ear, " You bloody branded me you mother fucking bitch. Just wait you bloody whore." And he strode out to change pants before he went in search for a blacksmith to make a branded poker.

It was about an hour later when Sweeney walked in the shop and locked the doors with a grim expression as he strode over to the fire and stuck the poker in and waited until the metal was red.

When the fiery color started to travel up the rod Sweeney grabbed it and rasped to him self, " Tis Sweeney Todd and I will have my fucking revenge." Ending the quote with a harsh laugh.

When Sweeney entered Mrs. Lovett looked at him with a wary expression as he started to loosen the straps and then said in a cool voice, " Turn around and don't move or I will kill you."

Mrs. Lovett complied with all due hast since he was obviously in a bad mood and backed up against the wall when he pushed her.

Sweeney grinned, showing all of he white straight teeth, as he pulled the poker from behind him and stepped forward.

Mrs. Lovett tensed at the sudden forbidding in the air and asked, " Mr. T wot are you . . . **Ow, shit, you fucking bastard." **Mrs. Lovett screamed in pain when she felt the poker burn her skin. When he backed away she ran to the mirror to see the initials ST branded on her right butt cheek.

She turned around to see Sweeney rolling around on the floor in hilarity as she winced from every step.

She accused him, " You branded me." as if it was not the most obvious thing.

Sweeney wiped away a stray tear as he stood up and kissed Mrs. Lovett passionately and then holding her tightly to him, he whispered in her ear, " Well, thinks of it this way, my love. You will always belong to me and no one else."

They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment and then kissed as Sweeney swept Nellie up into his arms and carried her upstairs into his room.

**THE END**

* * *

**AN: So, Darkpixy666 and I finally finished it. Before you say it, we know, a totally unexpected ending with an odd twist but hey, what do you expect from us. Hope you liked it.**


End file.
